Happiness. Sometimes it can seem elusive, right? How can you be happy every day? Even if it’s just in short bursts?
The reality is that we, literally, aren’t wired to be happy 24/7. We’re meant to feel all the feelings.
However, we can do daily practices that increase our happiness level and for longer durations of time.
The key is not to “pursue” happiness. Everyone always talks about “the pursuit of happiness”.
But the wording, itself, signals that you’ll never be happy…you’re in constant pursuit! How awful!!
In fact, research has found that the more we pursue, the more we suffer (The Happiness Trap, by Russ Harris).
So, what can we do?!
First, don’t worry! There are simple daily practices, or steps, you can do each day.
Small adjustments throughout your day can lead to lasting positive habits and results.
Quick fixes don’t work.
Especially in this day and age, we’re all looking for instant gratification (or more accurately, expecting). Right? If it doesn’t happen now, then it’s too late and we get frustrated and angry.
How is that helping you??
Here’s a clue…it’s not! 📢
We all have phones that provide us with information at the click of a button. Instantly.
And, if there’s a glitch with your phone or you’ve pressed the wrong link or button…you may end up throwing that phone!
Even when we get the thing we want that we think will make us happy, the feeling quickly fades and we’re on to wanting the next thing that’ll make us happy.
What a vicious cycle! I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that kind of exhaustion!
Have you ever said to yourself, “I’ll be happy when….”, or “things will be better when….”?
How about being happy now?!
Here are 5 things you can do each day to create happiness:
- Practice Gratitude. I’ve mentioned gratitude many times in other posts. Why? Because it’s SO important for our well-being. If you can’t be grateful for what you already have, you’ll always be wanting more. Wanting. Not having. So, grab a journal and write 3-10 things you’re grateful for each day. I feel it’s a good practice to do just before you go to bed each night. That way you reflect on something positive before you go to sleep. Because we carry over thoughts from the day before, you may find when you wake up the next morning that you feel a little more positive!
- Practice kindness (lead with love). This is towards others as well as to yourself. Talk to yourself kindly. Don’t beat yourself up. Ask yourself how you would want to be treated by a loved one. Treat yourself that way. Hold the door open for a stranger. Smile at a stranger. You never know what other people are going through. You don’t know their story. We tend to reflect how we’re feeling on to others. So, if we’re already in a bad mood and see someone doing something that is confusing to us in that moment, we may quickly judge or lash out at that person. They may have just gotten fired or had a loved one pass. People don’t often act rationally during traumatic times. Be kind (you’ll feel lighter as a result).
- Learn to forgive. This is a big one and involves letting go. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and forgiving others for hurting you. It takes A LOT of practice. But it is freeing once accomplished. I’d like to recommend Mel Robbins’ new book, The Let Them Theory. It’s about letting go of the power you give to others over your life. Like I said, forgiving and letting go is challenging because once you recall those old memories and feelings they can flood right back like a fresh wound. The Let Them Theory book may be the perfect tool in assisting you to do that.
- Build relationships. Loneliness can sneak up on the best of us. So many of us still work from home and have gotten used to it. I know I have! However, it significantly reduces our connection to other people and may even have lost some important relationships. While social media has its place, it does not replace in-person human connection. Find a like-minded community to join or create one yourself! This can be so rewarding and bring so much joy. Take it from this home-body introvert! 😉 Communities have a way of allowing us to be seen and heard like we may not have before. As humans…we need that.
- Find your purpose. This is another big one that may take some time and some digging. But give it some thought each day. Maybe get a paper and pen and write down what brings you joy (however fleeting). What are activities you enjoy? What are you good at? Where do you lose track of time…what are you doing? Finding the things that we are good at/enjoy/make us lose track of time (because we are in flow) and then doing those things on a more regular basis (each day) will create more joy and ease into our life. This, then, has a great chance of finding your purpose. Share your gifts and do what you love!
I hope these tips have been helpful and that you incorporate them into your life.
Remember, small adjustments at a time lead to larger change.
P.S. Please feel free to leave a comment or share this post with someone that may need some extra help!
P. P. S. I created a free quiz to test if you’re near burn out from work. You can take the quiz here to find out!
